The Urge!!

Dear Diary,

It’s late night, I can’t sleep. Reviewing the life I’ve been living. There is a space that feels empty. Like a big fat void in the heart. There is an empty cry for help. Cry to be saved, cry to be heard.

Have you ever felt so lonely that nothing seems to fit in. Everything seems meaningless! All my life I had an urge for my divine counterpart. Now you’ll ask what’s this bullshit. To be honest I didn’t know about it too I couldn’t settle for the one I was with once.

The amazing humans I met in the past few years in my life made me more closer to this quest that I am on. Is it all that I’ve been dreaming or really there is someone out there for me? Is my other half looking actively for me too?

I am a girl with thousand dreams! Money, fame, cars all these materialistic things never attracted me. Surely, it did entertain me for a while. But this “urge” this “urge” made me move on from it. Leaving a perfect relationship to find the truth behind this urge.

However in past couple of years I did realise that this urge portrays me as this needy girl too sometimes. The way I fall in my own trap. A little affection towards me make me go ga ga over the person I am receiving it from. Which has led me to meet certain unrequited circumstances.

But you know what finally I’ve decided, I’ve decided not to dwell in my own misery. Not to be the victim of my own desires. Rather I would sit quietly on my throne and wait for the king I deserve. If there is someone out there for me. He’ll find me and will never let me go.

I wouldn’t have to beg him to love me, to second guess me, to choose me over & over. Up until than I’ll keep working on myself.

To anybody out there feeling the same. Remember God always makes a way! I trust you universe! Goodnight!

xoxo
TJ

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