Dark night of the soul: The coping mechanisms!


In my previous blog “Dark night of the soul” I described the symptoms about being in the second stage of the spiritual awakening. This stage can take a lot of time as you are fighting your own demons. And when I talk about demons, it doesn’t mean an actual demon. It means the ways that no longer serve you like ego, greed, pride, jealousy, shame, pity any trait that are low vibrational.

In order to deal with these traits one must surrender to the divine and it’s power, seeking truth in these superficial things. Finding peace with your inner turmoil. For me accepting the fact that I lost everything was the toughest part. I couldn’t handle the things that were happening around me. The places that gave me peace and happiness started eating me from inside.

I remember crying in the nights and literally getting angry on the Universe for this sadness, anger and frustration. When I thought everything just ended and my failure in work, relationship and family dynamics. I started doubting the whole “everything happens for a good” theory. So below are the few points that helped me in getting out of this feeling of unworthiness.


Acceptance is the first step in everything that you do in your life. Be it accepting a failed relationship, or a failed job, or anything that you are feeling failed at. To recognizing that it’s not always in our hands is really important. It gives you the power to acknowledge sometimes things are just not meant to be. No matter how hard you fight the fight sometimes its just not meant to be. Give yourself that benefit of doubt and take your time to purge your emotions. This feeling is really easy to talk about but I can feel how much it takes to really accept something you would never wanna. However take a deep breath my friend and keep your hand on your chest and say “I am accepting everything and everyone around me the way it is, I no longer want to fight myself”. Release ifs and buts, put on some kickass music and dance like nobody’s watching. I might sound crazy right now, but trust me it’s the beginning of the victory towards your hardest battle i.e. LIFE. And I call it a victory dance, that the warriors do before leaving for a war.


The moment you accept the life the way it is, the next comes recognizing your emotions and yourself the way it is. The thing one needs to do is to purge the emotions. The idea of purging means to get Intune with your emotions. Any emotion that hurts your emotional body. The shame, humiliations, anger, pity etc. to flush out of your system. In today’s world where we are taught to be strong and not be vulnerable, we often start suppressing our own emotions. Which pile on for years and cause more unhealed trauma. Cry!! Cry if you want to, shout, let the Universe know that you want these emotions out of your system. That you no longer wanna feel miserable in your life. Trust me with each tear flushing out of your system will give you a sense of relief. The tears are not the sign of weakness but are pearls made up of water coming out of your eyes. With each tear say the emotions you are purging like “I release my pain, I release the shame, I release my failure”. It will help you in releasing the pain, that you carrying since months or for some for years!


Do you remember how we used to sit for exams in our schools so that we can review our growth for that academic year. Similarly, reflecting on your life patterns are really important. One must be aware of the life she/he are living on this planet. For me the lack of understanding the boundaries, self doubts and people pleasing were the most hardest thing to heal. To be honest, I am still not at the best place where I would like to be. I still sell myself short on my self worth, I still happen to go out of my way to do the same for people and end up hurting myself time to time. However to fix the problem one should know what is the problem. So start connecting the dots and find your repetitive patterns and work on it. Are you too available for people who aren’t there for you? Are you in toxic relationships where there is no equal give and take? or you put lot of self doubts, identity crises, self sabotage are some more example for your own toxicity.

It’s not always someone else who’s gonna be toxic for you or you can put blame on. One needs to understand that we all are toxic somewhere in someone’s story. To understand your own toxic patterns will not only help you in order to grow but will be a great habit that you can teach others around too. Don’t forget life if a marathon, not a race! Nothing will be done in a day or two. So purge on your own pace!


Now this is something that really helped me while I was going through my dark night of the soul. I was in my solitude in a city which was unknown to me. All I had was me there to hold me when I was on this roller-costar ride. Remember how you talk to self is the most important part of this journey. I always say “you came alone, you eat alone, you cry alone, you shit alone and one day you’ll die alone”. So why not have self confrontations and self pep talks with yourself. Who are we answerable to in this world more then ourselves. That one person who is always there to be with you is the person you see in the mirror everyday. Talk to yourself be there for yourself. 15 mins of self talk with myself everyday in the morning really helps me go through my day. Start this practice and see how it changes your thoughts too.

Be mindful of your thoughts and talk you do to your self. Human mind has the power to create the reality based on our thoughts. Turn everything negative into positive. Appreciate the beauty you are born with inside out. Say five positive affirmations about yourself everyday and see them manifesting in your reality!


Above all we talked about how you need to handle this stage now come the real deal “The CHANGE”. Change in your belief system, change in your thoughts, change in your life. The more one is Intune with their inner chaos, the more one can fix the outer chaos. Change is the constant law of nature. The more one resist it, the more you tend to dwell in negativity. Start small, Rome was not built in a day. So is your inner self would not change in a day or two. It’s gonna take time. However accepting your flaws will give you the power to change.

These were the few steps that took me months to accept myself in my spiritual journey and I am still working on. I hope it gave you some insights how you can work on yours. This is just the second stage however it takes the maximum time in order to move forward towards the enlightenment. So my friend, don’t try to rush any process instead embrace yourself the way you are. There is no deadline for this project, this is a real life. No matter how many times you fail you can always restart it. For anything else I am here to guide you through it!

Do share your thoughts and stories about this stage!

By teejaysays

Together we unite, let love guide you through!


  1. Hi,

    Your blogs are really nice & seriously it can help others..
    But please change the back theme or colour.
    Because it’s really hard time read small letters with that background.

    1. Hey Sherya! Thanks for the feedback. Changes updated! Love & light ❤️

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