Let’s talk about something really common yet something we all make ourselves a part of it knowingly or unknowingly. Toxic relationships. What’s a toxic relationship and how do you recognize it? Cause at some point in our lives we all went through it and if I am writing about this topic then lemme tell you girl, I have been in one.
To be honest, no matter how easy it seems to be talking about it right now however when you are in one relationship like that you don’t even realize it. So here I come up with my guide to figure out if you’re in a toxic relationship and how to get out of it.
1. Understanding what is a “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP”
As the word define itself “Toxic” is poisonous. Now you’ll say that in your mind, “Ahhh!! I know the fucking meaning of it woman!!!” But what I wanna convey here is no matter how well we know the meaning in the dictionary sometimes understanding real shit, it takes time brother! Being in a toxic relationship will seem like you being in a perfect relationship from the outside but it breaks you from inside brick by brick. Something that makes you more aggravated than happy & content. So ask that question to yourself, “Are you REALLY happy in that relationship?”
2. The Red Flags!
Well, as they say to solve a problem you gotta know the problem. So in this point one will discover what exactly this fuss is about. Now we gonna talk about some of the red flags that you can use to recognize the misery you are in.
- Every discussion turns out in a big fat fight. Well, it’s just not about fights its more about being so mean to each other that there is no reason but still you’re fighting.
- You start humiliating each other infront of your close ones. Now this is not cool but we tend to do such things, as humans our rage emotion tends to fired up.
- You start finding faults in each other’s existence. To be honest, it’s more like a fault in our stars. Ahh, jus kidding!
- Both the partners starts lying about their whereabouts. Well honestly I personally hate this to the core. Say the fucking truth, I don’t understand this shit. Yes!! it will hurt but at least I wont be more hurt when I’ll know the truth. #smh
- You start discussing your problems with others and not with your partner. What can be more harmful then this. As it’s a relationship not a party, that others gets the tea in between.
- Physical & verbal abuse. My mum taught this when we were young. Taking or giving back the abuse to the abuser or the victim is not cool at all. The relationship gets over the day you start abusing each other in any form. I mean c’mon how can you abuse someone if you love them. That’s an absolute blunder.
3) Recognizing the signs, still can’t get out of the vicious circle.
Honestly, somewhere we all understand the basics of a broken relationship but we can’t get out of it. It happens, it took me years to understand how toxic we became for each other before taking the step to move on with our own soul journeys. But hey, you gotta take that step otherwise you’ll be stuck there forever and it will break you to the core. Not only you’ll start questioning this divine feeling of love but also the intention of any other human that’ll genuinely care for you. But my friend you gotta break the chain.
4) The Talk.
Now this is the most hardest part, cause you don’t wanna hurt the person you spent your years with. That one person who was there in your ups and downs. I get it! I get it! but it gotta end my friend. Otherwise you’ll make it so dirty that in future all you’ll be left with is the toxicity generated in your heart and soul. Sit with your partner and talk to them. Communicate your inner self infornt of them. No matter how hard it seems but trust the process. Remember that this is the same person with whom you discussed the world with. Don’t underestimate the power of confrontation.
5) The Breakthrough
So my friend if you reached to this point that means you are on the right path but let me warn you after all this chaos the real shit begins. A toxic relationship leaves you with this emptiness that will pinch you again to get back with the same person as you’re used to abuse. You gonna miss them, you’ll feel like talking to them and sort it out. Cause hey! It’s love at the end. That person mattered to you once and who’s prepared for this. However, this is the real test that you gotta go through. The real test to respect yourself enough to not go back in the same viscous cycle. There will be days when you’ll be extremely happy that you’re out of it, and there will be days when you wanna run back to the same person cause they felt familiar. Listen, if you cross this stage you’ll be much more happier in your life. Just trust the process mate!!
Healing, as the name sounds so healing, it’s not at all. It feels like you’re burnt down to the core and you gotta rise back again like a phoenix. Unlearn everything and learn everything again. Facing all your daemons and punching them right in the face. Give time to yourself, meet yourself again. Find your hobbies, confined in your friends. Go out my friend you’re single again!!! HUNT!!!
7) Never stop believing in love!
Love is the most happening thing that Universe could bless us with. Surely it hurts, but the right one will come and give you exactly what you need. You don’t have to beg or explain love to this person. They’ll show you what it means.
Anybody can be toxic in a relationship that doesn’t mean that person is bad. It’s just the circumstances that makes it worst for us. Remember it takes two hands to clap. Don’t be a dickhead and just blame and shame your partner. Instead just forgive. Forgive them, forgive yourself and move on with your life. We all are toxic in someone’s story. Just like god is right now in this Corona times. People who are losing loved ones are cursing god and people are getting saved they are full of gratitude. So don’t be afraid to accept the reality and move the fuck off in your life!!
If this helped you! Don’t forget to share your stories with me.
Till than Happy Healing!!!